Almost time...

Secret Keeper, my fourth book, is only a couple of weeks away from being released.

I was talking with a friend about it, a few days ago. We hadn't seen each other for quite some time so we had a lot to catch up on; work, kids, pods to listen to, the usual stuff.

Finally, she asked about my next book. Had this conversation happened six months ago, I would have launched into the process this book has been on, how the characters had to change, the themes changed, and so on.

But this conversation happened close to the release so now I have a growing sense of nervousness (during the day) or dread (in the midnight hours) about it. This new book is a story about friendship, secrets, at that challenging time for middle graders - leaving the familiar primary school and heading towards the unknown of high school. Sure there are some emotional themes, but there's also kindness, humour, nosey neighbours. And a dog named Sammy. I really enjoyed writing, rewriting and working with the team at Scholastics Australia to get it from a word doc to the bookshelf.

So why the nervousness or dread?

Right now there are copies of Secret Keeper in the hands of bloggers and reviewers. Some of them will have read my previous books, for others this will be the first. I don't mind what they say about my writing, in fact I am often moved by their insights, find surprise in a connection they make that hadn't been apparent to me. I like the feedback. So, it's not that.

I have had some feedback from a couple of middle grade readers. All positive so far. They like the cover, the story, the netball games, the mystery, and most of all the friendships that unfold. So, it's not that.

To be honest, this feeling has been part of each book release, part of my process. Doubts that came in the form of endless questions. The closer the release date the higher the volume of self doubting questions.

With Unpacking Harper Holt, the first one, I wasn't sure what to expect and it was nerve wrecking. Seeing it in bookstores was a thrill, signing copies - all fabulous. But was anyone really going to read it? Like it? The editing process had been an amazing journey - I learnt a lot. However, first time writer, what do I know? Not much.

Then came Every Thing We Keep, a story about hoarders and its impact on the main character, Agatha. Too much? Too emotional? Had I created a realistic world for the middle grade reader? And now there would be readers who had read Harper. Would Agatha meet expectations? Would it let readers down?

Saving Charli has a different format from the first two. Each of the main characters have their own chapters. Different perspectives. And then it comes in three parts. What was I thinking? I'm not even a real writer. How could I possible try a different format? How could this possibly work? Maybe I should wait until I'm better at writing? Learn more, build my skills?

Secret Keeper is nearly here, August 1st.

Last night I woke up around 1am. Yes, this story works, doesn't it? The characters are realistic, aren't they? And the netball games - surely they are right? Centre pass, bounce pass. No such questions about the cover - how lucky am I to have such a beautiful cover that captures exactly what Nell is thinking.

It is time to accept that this state of nervousness and/or dread is just a part of my lead up to a new book coming out, part of my process.

In a couple of weeks I won't have this feeling anymore. It will pass and I can focus on watching it be out in the real world, in the hands of readers. I will visit bookstores and offer to sign copies. I will read reviews and enjoy the insights they bring. Best of all (my favourite part), I will hear from middle grade readers as they share with me their thoughts, connections. We'll talk about the characters and keeping secrets.

And finally, the time will come to focus on the projects that have been slowly building in my 'Unfinished' folder on my computer and, with the dread having evaporated, get a good night's sleep.

It's just part of my process.

Out August 1st 2025